You know, it didn't even start as this idea to always be there. I didn't purposely set a goal to ensure that I was always around. When she was tiny, I had to put her to sleep, HAD to. Aspen has always had issues falling asleep and staying asleep. So we just did what we had to do to accommodate her needs and stay sane. But, after a couple years of laying next to her, something happened. I started thinking about a time when I wouldn't be there for that very moment and I was seriously dreading it! So for the next year or so, I actually tried to be home in the evening for our nightly ritual.
There was a few nights when I was out later and fully expected her to fall asleep on her own, but alas, I came home and she was up, waiting for me. Usually happy to see me, and I her.
Tonight, she fell asleep without me laying next to her.
And, I think I will live. I will be fine because she is fine. That's the funny thing about watching your baby grow up. You see every progress and change that comes her way, and for a while, you even fail to notice that you change too. But we're always changing. And then, one fall night, you come home from work and find her already asleep, warm and cozy in her bed. And everything is just as it should be.
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