For a minute, I waited outside the trailer. I was done doing the dishes, picking up the chairs and untangling the dog's leashes. But I stood there, cold and tired, just listening to your Dad read you a bedtime story through the door. I stared at the blue christmas lights we used to decorate the outside of the trailer. I wanted you to know that this day was different, that this weekend was all for you. I didn't expect you to love it as much as I did. But I could see the magic in your eyes when you screamed "This lights for me? For my birthday?!"
My eyes wandered up, towards the sky. The trees around our campsite were full and green but opened up so we could see the stars shining directly above. You know those moments where your heart swells and you just feel utterly grateful for every single thing that you have? THIS was one of those moments. Time stood still, and quiet, and peaceful. Even in these moments when I'm not in your presence, I am thinking of you.
In the last three years, you have opened my eyes, you have taught me to be more a part of your world and less of mine. But between your second and third birthdays, I have seen and heard some amazing things. I love hearing you make up new and random lyrics just so you can sing to us and how you always want to say a prayer for every occasion! Aspen, when you dance, everybody stops to watch. You take your time and execute every little move. It's inspiring to see such a young person like you, be so tuned in to your self. Tonight, as we roasted marshmallows, you started to do what I can only describe as a "smoke dance" with the fire. It was amazing. You're amazing.
You say things like "I love myself!" and "I am smart and my a strong and my brave." And, this morning "I can do anything!" when you accomplished something that seemed impossible. I can only hope, as any Mother would, that you don't ever loose that love and self worth because it is such a beautiful thing to see. I hope you continue to encourage others, and grow new friendships. I hope that this third year of life is full of magic and awe as you continue to discover life in all forms. And Aspen, thank you. When we asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday and told you we would do anything you wanted, you chose camping without a second thought. Thank you for remembering how much we all love to be together, in nature, away from all the worries of the world.
Happy birthday my little Aspen tree, next time you see me, you will be three.
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