"No really, look into my eyes."
Sometimes, I don't have all the answers, well, a lot of the time. I am imperfect, I am a Mother and I am learning as I go, always trying to let my instincts guide my parenting skills (if that's what I choose to call them).My girl is just old enough to understand a lot of what I say and just brilliant enough to choose what to accept as logic. BUT she is not quite at a mental maturity level where she understands consequences. I expect that will come in the next few months. So tonight, when she through a fit for the third night in a row out of frustration and teething pangs, I told my 18 month old to look into my eyes. "Look at me, look into my eyes." I'm just pushing out ideas here not knowing if she will shoot down my efforts. "Seriously though, look at my eyes, Aspen." Her tears were still running down her pink cheeks when she stopped crying and tilted her head to the left. Both of her eyes centered on my right pupil and she just stared, head still cocked to the side. Everything went from chaotic and uncontrollable to purposeful, quiet and alert. Oh, YES, I do believe we have had a moment here.
I could see her focusing and dissecting every color and star shape line in my eye. I tried to be content and let her explore as I suggested. I tilted my head to match hers (a favorite game of ours) and then she started laughing hysterically. She has such a joyful and musical laugh, I just had to join in. What am I to do, stay serious? Ha, not this lady.
One of the many blessings of being a Mom for me is these little moments where I feel like I am teaching her something about life, but she has made me the student instead. I don't know if she will ever learn everything I vow to teach her but I know she will continue to expect the best out of me, to push me to be a better parent and a better person everyday of my life.
