Godspeed

Today I am blessed. I was able to provide for my clients, spend time with my baby and have amazing conversation with my best friend and husband. I like to remember how much I have been given so I don't have reason to complain. Tonight, I didn't need to remind myself how great I've got it. Aspen is asleep on me as I type on my phone and rock on the glider. The dogs are sprawled out on the cool laminate floor, sleeping. Niko next to Dave's spot on the couch and Belles on my side, a somber guardian. My husband laughs hysterically at "Rules of Engagement" reruns and everytime he does, Aspen lifts her head up and opens her tired eyes to see him....she smiles and then plops her head back on my shoulder. Aw, the simple life that a child has. Her innocence is a reminder of how life should be. Good night moon will find the mouse and I love you. God speed little one. Sweet dreams little one

Remembrance Angel

Last night, I took Aspen to bed when she was not quite ready. She squirmed about, started talking and gooing at Dave and I. I tried to get her to breast feed over and over again in hopes that it would put her back to sleep. Of course, she resisted. I decided to get up and put her back to sleep by rocking or bouncing on the yoga ball out in the living room.

I turned on the dim light in front of the fireplace and then walked to my Ipod stand and put on some music. Jewel's voice filled the room and I started to dance with my precious baby girl. We twirled and I sang. Her gaze stayed content on something, so I turned to see what as she continued to lock onto an angel figurine I had just above the fireplace. I thought, "well, this may be a good time to show her". I reached up and grabbed the angel and showed Aspen. She smiled. I began my short story.

 This Angel is a Remembrance Angel. It reminds daddy and I of your brothers or sisters so that we don't forget what we almost had here on earth. Do you remember them?

Aspen smiled at me and I knew she  was aware of my words and that she felt what I felt. My heart warmed so fast at the prospect of Aspen playing with other children in a space before this life. Maybe there were more than three others there, I'm not sure. I let her hold the angel for a minute and she gawked at it, so alert, so alive. I put it back on the mantel and cried for a minute as I sang and bounced my baby back to sleep.

“An angel, in the book of life, wrote down my baby's birth.
Then whispered as she closed the book, "too beautiful for earth".”